12.3.07

失败

习惯了报喜不报忧
习惯了无论多难过,仍然强言欢笑
习惯了用笑声掩饰寂寞
习惯了用骄傲遮盖自卑

到底哪里出错了?为什么在我的梦幻工厂里一次又一次的失败?是不是无论我多努力仍然都得向现实屈服?

是不是没有料…就是没有料?

突然间我渴望变成一只鸵鸟,把头埋进沙土里,与全世界隔离,安静的想想到底是哪里出错了?

我又失败了。

为什么用“又”这个字。你不了解,在我的梦幻工厂里,我一次又一次的尝试,尝试去做我从小就热爱的东西,却又一次又一次的被打回愿点。一次次的希望,一次次的失望。

是不是没有料…就是没有料?

我知道回到公司后,我仍然会大声的笑,收拾起心情后,我依旧是阿Q的我。

“他妈的!我需要你们的肯定吗?”

但是…

现在的我自信心被摧毁了
没有料…真的就是没有料
我再次变得很渺小…很渺小

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Told you already - it's their loss. Why let someone decides how your fate should be? Control it! I have seen how they work; it's not worth your while to be upset - this might be a blessing in disguise. Take a day to mourn but don't let this affects your writing passion.

Anonymous said...

Hello PY,
I hope the support of your family and friends will give you the "Popeye spinach" to continue pursuing your dream. The process is not easy and I'm proud of you that you've been perservering for so long.
You deserve a good pat on your back.
Jia1 You2!

XY

Happy Sunflower said...

There will be light at the end of the tunnel. I have learnt something very useful in the recent seminars I attended. Take an hour a day to daydream and relax. Your heart will tell you what's next :) Maybe you can consider. Take care...